The One Where Emily Travels Solo
There’s something so liberating about a solo woman traveler. You and only you; funded by you.
April 2019 I did something I’ve always wanted to do. I boarded a plane and left the country – by myself. I don’t know if I needed to prove to myself that I could, or if I needed a disconnection, but I went without hesitation. I booked an Airbnb on the coast of St. Maarten, took the direct flight from CLT to SXM, and had myself a day.
SXM
Why St. Maarten? It’s beautiful, it’s safe, and there’s a direct flight from CLT. Sold. It’s a nice little hideout for many Americans running away from the corporate world. After a few drinks at the yacht club I stumbled upon, I realized many sailors were from Wilmington, the Outer Banks, or Atlanta who sold everything, bought a sailboat, sailed down to the bay and never left. It seemed like the perfect place for this runaway cowgirl.
Ello sailors ~ views from the balcony
Truth #1: You do not need to spend $$$$ on a resort for a resort experience. I find myself saying this many times. The Airbnb I booked was absolutely beautiful and cheaper than a hotel in Hickory. It was a private studio suite on the second floor of an ocean front house. The big hurricane of 2018 tried to take her out, but she said no. The retaining wall was crumbling, stairs to the ocean were missing, but there she stood. There was no hot water, but I didn’t mind. I fell asleep every night to the sound of the waves through the open balcony doors and woke up to the glare of the sun bouncing off the ocean. Nemo lived outside my window and I couldn’t have wanted anything more.
Views from the balcony
The hurricane tried to take her out but she said no
The most beautiful little hideaway for a solo cowgirl
Truth #2: Location is everything. I didn’t rent a car, and Uber isn’t a thing there. My hideaway was out of the tourist district and camouflaged with the locals – just the way I like it. It was a few blocks from the market, and walking distance to a beachfront seafood restaurant and bar. I stocked up on fresh bananas and coffee from the market for breakfast every day, and walked to the beach bar for lunch and dinner. It was the most perfect set up.
Karakter Beach Bar
Truth #3: Fake it until you make it. Walk the walk and talk the talk. As a 25 year old traveling solo, you have to create multiple scenarios as to who you are and why you’re there by yourself. It started with customs as I landed at St. Maarten. Twenty questions alluding to the assumption I’m bringing drugs or money. No one believed I was there to hang out for a few days by myself. That seems way less normal than the alternative. Were there times that locals whistled at me walking down the beach? Yes. Were there times I walked a little faster home than normal? Yes. But you find your bad bitch attitude and fake it until you make it. You can’t hide behind a man for all of eternity. Not in Charlotte, not in Hickory, and not abroad.
Until I made friends with the locals that worked at the beach bar, I was “traveling for work” or “waiting on my boyfriend who was the pilot of the heavy bus” that we could almost touch the belly of as it landed at SXM behind the bar. A far stretch from the truth, but true enough to make me not feel like a pathological liar for 4 days. It was such a shock to everyone that I went alone. How modern woman of me. How 2019 woman of me. But hunni let me tell you, if you wait on a man or a friend to become available, you’ll miss out on so much.
So if you’ve ever thought about solo travel, the way to do it is to just do the dam thing. Pick a bomb location - St. Maarten - and go have yourself a day. Let yourself experience liberation and empowerment abroad, because you owe it to yourself.
The best experiences come from the unplanned territory of the itinerary. When you make friends with the locals at the beach bar and listen to hurricane stories for hours. When the owners get to cook you their best fresh conch that they caught that morning. The ones where the mornings contain nothing more than yoga on the balcony and watching the sailors pull up their anchors. And the kind of trip that feels more like home than the foreign island that it is. It’s about stepping away from everything comfortable to make room for the good stuff. So go out and find your own little slice of heaven…and send me a post card when you get there.
xx emdub
A Salty Piece of Land by Jimmy Buffett